Tuesday, June 14, 2005
WELL ALRIGHTY THEN!
my new livejournal username is:
it's a thing mally and i had
its like my nivk-name i guess
Monday, June 13, 2005
so...i think it's time for a new live journizzle...
i need a change foir the summa
donht worry, ill comment in all of your lj's so that u can rememebr its me with my new name
i dont reaslly know whats its gonna be yet
maybe somehting with my name becuz its easier to identify me that way
loves+kisses= summa changes
Sunday, June 12, 2005
there are no words to explain the awesomeness of the dinner dance
i totally had the best time of my life
the best time in the whole efing world
it was kinda dum tho cuz ryan swann ditched me
and then lied\but whatev i cud care less
i got others to be hottt with...ahahaha
the bus ride home...
ahhhh efing amazing
lucky number 6!!!
let's just say i am not prude anymore
i can add several thigns to my un-prude list
i will not go into detail here, but u can just ask me if u wanna know more...
i know i certainly wanna know more about what happened on the other bus!
i heard thewy got pretty wild too!
alright...it is like WAYYYY past my b.time!
loves+kisses= bus rides...
Thursday, June 9, 2005
omg Windridge rocked the blockizzle for shizzle
i heart australo guys
arts+crafts with el, kat, julia, b, ab, mal and the gang
bombarded joe with b-day cards (and rocks+sticks)
but i waited till they all gave him theirs
then i gave him mine later
it was probably the best thing i've ever done
kinda cold but not bad
built an EXCELLENT sand castle with a tunnel that went all the way across the beach
it took like a million years and finally it was done
then we had to go
got in water and washed off
everyone stepped on tunnel
then logan cooke dragged his foot across the whole tunnel and killed it all
i was crying
white stepped on it and i threatened to beat him up
so he threw me over his sholder (he really did that)
i was kicking and screaming
it was fun
bus ride home was REALLY cool until ryan and nate ef-ed it up
you see, ryan put his hands down his pants (ew) then rubbed them on cody's face (double ew)
so cody of course spit in ryan's eye, and nate laughed at him
so, like the complete retard that ryan is, he spits in nate's eye and nate starts a riff
nate is punching ryan, which was really scary for me cuz i was right next to ryan
so then mrs. therrien (fat cow) came back and made ryan move up
and guess who she sat wiht?
i almost killed myself
other than that i had a jolly good time
OH EM efing GEE!
i am so efing excited its not even funny!
seriously, if you laughed right now i wud kill you
so shwanny is my date
and i heart my dress more than life
life is good.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
godamn i'm so bored!
i hate them all
i can't wait for cbms kids to get here
get a fresh start with all our soon to b homies
can't efing wait
they've got some pretty hott guys over there
well, only a few
and some r taken
which is pretty much the same as here...
except our boys all suck.
actually, i can also NOT WAIT for the cbms girls to get here
and be awesomely excellent
alright...i'm gonna git because if i'm boring myself this much by just typing this update, then i can only imagine how bored you must be reading it
loves+kisses= too bored to use cool colors
Sunday, June 5, 2005
some get made, and some get played
hung out with Ktay to the C baiscally the whole time
went swimming in KT's pond: 3 times
played with boys across the street: 2 times
bug bites: about a billion
KT's b-suit top fell down: at least 6 times
spalshing it up and wrastlin' with my 3 fave ppl in moretown: priceless
ok, so that didnt really work becuz none of the things were prices, but it was still cool!
yea so i def. am in love with the boys across the street
KT and i went over there at like 9:20 ish and played 5,000, and star gazed, and star "tanned", and just plain wrastled until like 10:30
it was amzaingly fun and awesome and great and WONDERFUL!
then we went swimming with them the next day
that was wicked fun too
ahh, good times good times!
so, what did you do theis weekend? i'd be very pleased to know!
really...please tell me, i'm all ears...
now i shall sit and listen to your weekend...
omg the dinner dance is THIS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!
man and i never got those fake french manicure nails i wanted
ah well...such is life
alright...until next time, just remember- KEEP IT CLEAN, KIDS! AND USE PROTECTION!!!
loves+kisses= swimming and wrastlin
Thursday, June 2, 2005
man oh man
who wouldn've thought?
certainly not me!
man, if i had known that sitting with my new-found friends at lunch would cause this much complication, i never would have done it!
and yet, im still glad i did...
because i know that none of my friends will de-friednd me over something this stupid
in fact, i am confident that this will blow over by tomorrow
with most people anyways...
so, i'm sorry that i expressed my feelings in live journal that made it seem like it was a HUGE deal
becuz it wasn't
and it's really not my fault that my new-found friends dont like some of my other friends
and i dont think that i should get shunned becuz i sat with them at lunch
and if this causes any more complications in our freidnship, then i dont think she honestly loves me as much as i thot she did
and thats all i have to say about that!
on a lighter note...it was SO NICE today!
so sunny and warm...actually, it was wicked hot...but whatev
better than wicked cold, i say!
alright...time to get to gettin!
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
hey, can't you tell i want you by the way i push you away, yeah!
life is happy tonight
so, you know all those questions that i wanted answered today?
the ones about e.siner and cam?
the ones i just wrote in my entry from last ngiht?
well....i didnt get ANY of them answered!
BUT- it was because e.siner broke up w/ cam becuz it wasnt working out
so everything is settled
its too bad tho
cuz i mean, if she did really like him, then it sux that they cudnt work out
but it was kinda hard
he's in 7th grade, shes in 8th
plus everyone was making a huge deal about it (including me!...oops!)
well...i guess its all good
in da hood
so now we can move on to...dum dum dum...
my smiley factor!!!
I am sitting with becky and e.siner and el and all those people tomorrow at lunch!
i miss all those people so much, becuz we used to be excellent freidns last year
and then i just kinda drifted away
and made new friends
i.e. KTC, KTB, meg, abby, anna, liv, etc...
HOWEV- i think that i can handle both groups of friends at the same time!!!
so im all excited to have lunch tomorrow with my new palios!
there is one problem that may arise tho...
you see, SOME of the ppl in my one group of friends are not liked by the other group
and vise versa...kinda...
anywho, i must not let these few ppl mingle...
tho it will be difficult
but i will try
its funny that im making such a big deal about this
cuz its just a little luncheroo
ah well, im still all smiley inside
i love re-connecting with my old pals...
becuz they were my very good friends at one point
and we weren't so tight for nothin!
(which rhymes with gator love!)
loves+kisses= lunch dates
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
man oh man
i'm so stressed tonight
i had SO MUCH math homework!!!
luckily i had Bill right there with me through it all to help me out
Sucks tho cuz i wanted to work on my science essay and reading essay tonight but i had too much else to do!!!
Is it just me, or are we getting the homework loaded on because it's the end of the year, and the teachers have to cram every last bit into the last few weeks?!!!!!
I danced in the rain today after lunch.
it was oodles of fun
i just had to let it all go
i decided not to be mean to Emily Siner about dating my one true love
(Yes, it's true, Emily Siner is currently dating Cameron Nevin!)
i decided just to let them be, and hope everything works out the best way possible
i was worried at first though, because i thot emily was just asking him out as a joke
but it turns out she is starting to like him
even thoiugh she doesnt know him
and never sees him
but HEY! whatever floats your boat, right?
i'm just trying to stay positive about it all, and not be hateful or mean to anyone.
though it's damn hard.
i must tell you, it was a shock and a half to find out that emily and cameron really were going out
at first i was so f-ing mad
because i thot she was joking
i thot she was just jokingly asking another guy out, which she's done many times before
and i was mad because it always seems like she goes after the guys that ME and MY FRIENDS are in love with! (i.e. cameron, josh, cody, etc...)
but i thought long and hard about it
and after becky's very insightful note, (which i thot was a bit harsh to me, but i didnt make any big deal about it)
and after emily saying that she really is starting to know and like cameron,
i put it all behind me.
but there is still a bit of a situation...
you see, emily totally is starting to like him, and from her point of view, they're definitely dating
but i asked cameron what the deal was, and he said that it was all a big joke
thats what i thot in the beginning too!
so i explained to him, i said "Cameron, emily thinks its totally real, and she is starting to actually like you, so u need to straighten this out! if you ARE dating, that's great! but if u dont think you are...you might want to tell emily that!"
PLUS- cameron told emily that there was someone else and that they wouldn't really work out!
but i heard that emily wants him to date her at least till friday!
that seems very fishy to me, but it could just be a rumor...
i'll have to look into it all........
meanwhile, i want to know:
-who this "someone else" is that cameron apparently likes, or
-if cameron just said there was someone else to stop dating emily, or
-if cameron really does like emily and she really likes him and they live happily ever after and/or,
-did emily really say that she wanted to date him at least until friday, and if so
-WHY does emily want to date cameron at least until friday? what's so special about friday?
-WHO let the dogs out?
-AND~ why does it seem like emily likes other guys when she supposedly lieks cameron so much?
and why do i care so much?
Monday, May 30, 2005
just saw Star Wars 3 Saturday
i thot it was a let down!
can't have everything, right?
so...i had a pretty good weekend...kinda boring in places, but good otherwise...
hung out with KTC a lot...shweet!
her shoes are very cute for her dinner dance dress!
i can't wait
it's in like two weeks!
i donno wat to do anymore
i feel like...ahhh so restless!
i neeeeed a big huge fun party or something!
something to spice things up a bit
hmmm...gimme gimme.........gimme gimme......gimme gimme......
i also feel like i cant figure out any of my friends these days.
i cant tell if she's mad at her or not
or if she still likes him
and who the heck does she like?
and who the heck do i like?
(those are all different people by the way, but im not mentioning any names...not that its bad stuff...just...whatev!)
who do i like?
i mean, who is there to like?
i feel like those two only see me as boobs and a butt these days
they're so immature recently
and just really horny
its all they talk about
it's like "GOD shut the fuck up and have a real conversation with me! You know, one where you're not staring at my breasts the whole time!"
anyways...well i have no f-ing clue how to do my math homework
honestly, Mrs. Therrien thinks she can teach us a whole concept- that we've never learned anything about- through a packet!
i just cant learn it that way
i dont get it
and wen i get confused there's no one to ask questions!
ah well...better go try to figure soemthing out about rations....or just get some cchip cookies!
and you know what?
if you're looking for my cookies, keep on looking cuz they're still in the jar!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
so...life is good good...
i just went swimming at the bridges with my girl scout troop
i got TWO mini cupcakes!!!!!
you know the ones where the frosting on top is like bigger than the actual cupcake?
it rocked the heezy for sheezy...
i can't wait to go see Star Wars 3 this weekend with Katie C, my sister, and the pops...
it'll be the tops!
or as Mr. Moody would say, gold!
i love rugby in gym class.
it's so fun!
i'm not really that good at running with the ball, well...im okay at dodging and running...sometimes...
and im not really that good at grabbing the good people's flags...atcually, im okay at that too...sometimes...!
it all depends on what mood im in
if i feel like being lazy and not doing anything then i suck
but if i actually try and get into then im pretty good i guess...!
anywho, i just have a blast!
i knicked my knee today cuz i was trying so hard!
i fell onto my knees try to pick up the damn ball!
damn, emma wade's fklags are like the most difficult things to grab...
i wonder if she puts them on a special way...
becuz, i mean, some people's flags are really easy to grab, like holly's and mine..
even emily siner who is one the the top 5 best rugby players in my gum class, (of the girsl) her flags are easy to rip off...
but emma wade's, and olivia...theirs are so hard!
ah well, such is life!
hmmm...i'm thinkin it's time to go study for my dumb-head english vocab test...
well, i wouldn't call it studying...more like watching TV and looking at it...
loves+kisses= Star Wars 3
Monday, May 23, 2005
well, life is still good...
except i'm sad for abby right now
her grampy died
man, none of my family members have ever died the closest i get is when my dog monty died that i had had my whole life
i was deeply sad
but i got over it
as everyone must
on a bit of a lighter note, i got a new bra today for my dinner dance dress!
you see, i had to get a starpless bra that wouldn't show it's lines through the dress
becuz my dress is really clingy, so EVERY line shows...
anywho...better get to my math HW and my 10 fricking pages of french in our softbooks!
damn busy works sucks major ass...
loves+kisses= bras rock!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
yes! boston yesterday rick-rocked the heezy for sheezy!!!
indeed...actually it kinda sucked cuz i've been there like 5 times and the virtual volleyball didnt work...
i know, right? i mean the freaking virtual volleyball didnt work? wth!!!!!
and the imax sucked
who the hell wants to learn aboput migrating animals...
right so anyways...going to the dinner dance with ryan swann!
hes such a cutie...but we're just going as friends!
right? we are just going as friends...i think...
some people have told me that he likes me as more than a friend now
but i've heard like 2 other people he liked...so who knows
and who cares, really?
nothing's changed...we're still just friends!
so life is good!
its just...very good right now.
plain and simple
no worries...at all
honestly, i cannot think of one wory at the moment,
except that im afraid my hair will look like shit tomorrow
i ran out of straightening gel
and it only looks good wavy occasionally
but still, there's something to be said about just getting out of thwe shower and not doing a thing to your hair, and still feeling comfortable with it
now i must go make myself that mixed CD that i've been meaning to make for quite a while...
emmap.s. TOTALLY forgot to tell you about the kickass roadies we met onb the highway our way to the BSM!!! ok so, there were these two guys in the front of this car, and a giurl in the back and we were waving at them and putting up signs like "i love you" and "marry me" and stuff...they were laughing a lot it was a hoot! then we had to merge lkanes and we lost them but THEn as fate would have it, we unmerged lanes and met up with them again we saw them at a stop, and they said "are you going to the march?" and we (sadly) said "no, we're going ot the BSM" then we parted ways and never saw them again but it was still amazingly cool
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
ahhh man i am so sad
i love my cam cam more than anything
and he is sad
stupid retarted f-ing sevies who pick on him!!!!!!!!!!!!
im gonna kick thewir fucking asses
just because he has cool hott 8th grade freinds that love him
they're jealous of him becuz he hangs out w/ us! wat f-ing retards
i feel so bad for him
i fucking love cameron
if he was in 8th grade i would fucking marry him!
i can't wait until later in highschool when its cool to date younger guys.
like brooke werner and hott everette
i heart life
Monday, May 16, 2005
you know when there is no play and no boy to chase and no new kid who's cool and no nothing...it gets boring
life is like a dull.....butter knife!. shweet.
ahaha theres a good joke..." your joke is like a dull pencil...it has no point!" ahahahahahahaha
man o man life is funny. i heart sevies!
i miss the play so f-ing much!
i am sad from that loss......its so much harder to keep in talkings with my lovable sevies!
and also my lovers ah man.......no more cindi....ah i am so sad
no more princey poo. a different world that i can excape into....it didnt matter about the others
nothing mattered because we were acting. it was a play. a real play woith costumes and makeup (overdone, i might add!) and long white gloves and ahh.....it was pretend.
i really had a prince charming to waltz with and i really had a ball and even tho abby was a meany poo (my evil stepmom) she was still there.....i really had a fairy godmother...it was just so...different.
ah well, you've got to snap back to reality sometime i suppose.......
but sometiems i wonder...is that this the true reality...or is it just a game?
is it all a fake until you slip away into a song or play or book or poem...and thats wen the real world comes out?
ahahha i am gettijg all phylosophical on you now.
thoughts spinning around inside make for cheesy glances at make-beleive!
loves+kisses= holler VT
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
my head hurts so f-ing much right now!!!!!!!
i've been popping the pills! ahaha jk i cant do swallow pills...
but i DID have SIX (yeah thats right, SIX!!!) chewable pain relievers!!!!
yes! shweet... except it was funny cuz on the back of the bottle, it had a chart of how many u shud have for each age
and it only wen up to 11 years old
and that one was six pills
so i had 6 too even tho im 14!!!
gah life is poopy tonight! i'm just really stressed out about the play
and my head hurts
and my shin killed today
and it was SOOO f-ing hot out!
and i hated voice lessons today
usually they make me feel a lot better wen im having a sucky day cuz i love them and they're fun just working with me and my voice and andrea
but today was lame i felt like i sounded bad even tho i prolly didnt
and uuugggghhhhh i hate sports
and please i just wanna get this out so no one say the old "dont worry! ur good at other things! u dont even know how good u are blah blah blah" no offense i just dont wanna hear that right now
im not an atheletic person and i know that
i know my strengths are in singing and acting
but it still really sux
i wanna be good at sports
i want to be a wicked fast runner, and a wicked high jumper, and i wanna kick that soccer ball into the goal so fast it'll make ur head spin
but i cant
hard as i try, i cant
i feel like there's always someone who's better than me
but it's not their fault that they're good at it and im not
like in gym clas the other day
i LOVED doing the high jump even tho it KILLED my left shin bcuz thats the foot i jump off of
i loved it so f-ing much it was soooooo f-ing fun
just ask anyone who was thewir
i was like rip-rearing to go!
and i was good, too! not to toot my own horn...but, toot toot!
i mean, i got it evry single time without hitting the bar once
seriously, i did not hit the bar one single time
other people did, other people weren't as good as me in the beginning
others had to get used to it first
but not me i really took to it
anyways, i was doing great, and then i got to 3 feet 8 inches
i hadnt hit the bar once yet
so i run, and jump-
and i hit the bar!
but no worries, i have 3 chances to clear the bar so i can move up
so i jump again and miss
dont worry one mor leap, ill get it
i try to arch my back and REALLY push off hard on my left leg, even tho it hurts sooo f-ing much
and i miss
and i get back in line, and mr. moody says that i cant go again becuz i diodnt clear it in my 3 tries
i didnt realize thats wat u had to do
so i sit down
im so mad
katie did it just fine! katie gets to move up!
and mallory did it too
they both get to go up
but not me
i get left behind while mallory beats the girls gym record for high jump, and katie's only about 4 inches behind
but im a whole foot behind
they beat me
but i mean, it's really not their fault at all that they're goor at it
its totally not their fault they have this great talent for sports, and they're just built to do it
its not their fault at all
and why shud they feel sorry for me wen they're so good?
why shud i bring them down wen they're so up?
so i try not to
but then i end up holding this all inside
and i break down one night on stupid hard math homework that i dont understand yet again
loves+kisse....ah, you know the deal.....
Monday, May 9, 2005
dude it's 10:18 p.m........WAYYYYYYY past my bedtime!!!
but i just couldn't resist updating!
not that i have much to update about...oh yeah! DUHHHH!!!!
i got contacts and new glasses!!!! YAY!!!! i can finally see without looking like a retard!!!!!! althouhg, my new glasses are cooler than my old ones...granted, they dont have little barbie hearts on the sides, but they're very sophisticated and sleek...ahahaha shweet.
alright...alright...ahaha i say that a lot now...mally u know what im talkin bout..
ummm well nothin much else except i love that texas motivational speaker guy more than nachos!
so one tree hill tomorrow
! dude nathan's DYING!!!! shashashahaha! "What if......"
alright...time to beat the hay or something...or is it hit the sack to a pulp? something like that./....
loves+kisses= holler VT
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
i don't know how to do this anymore
i'm going down!
seriously, gahhh! whenever i move on, it's wrong.
i don't know how to handle it.
i don't know where to turn.
i mean, i know my friends are totally there for me always and shat...but...maybe its different...
like, i can't go to some of them because they don't like him at all, so they would be no help
and that's TOTALLY NOT NOT NOT they're fault! i understand that...
and i can't go to her because she is in the same boat as i am!!!
i mean, i love her to death, but her help would be totally influenced by her feelings
jsut like mine would if i tried to help her!
and then if i bring it up around her she gets all "ahh no one likes me" and i don't knwo what to do! suddenly it becomes her problem,
OR she just goes on and on about her!
p.s. all the different "her" s in diff. colors mean all different people. but when i use the same color "her" it's talking about the one from the other color. for example- whenever i use the purple "her" its one person, and the blue "her" is another person! shweet
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Just a little test to better know people (which i stole fromk abby)
Please comment on this and tell me:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One random thing.
4. One insider. (don't worry- i didn't know what an insider was either! but whiska lickins let me in: just tell me something about yourself -but not too obvious or you'll give it away-. i.e. i love singing and acting.)
5. One thought you (secretly) have of me.
6. One thing you'd like to do to me.
7. A hint to who you are.
anywho...don't forget to read my post from yesterday and comment if you haven't already. i really need some helpful advice with it.
please and thank you!
Monday, May 2, 2005
i quit him
i quit trying
i quit pretending
i quit boys
i quit the whole damn species!
i hate feeling like i have to put my life on hold because i'm trying to be a better friend. i screwed up once already, and i've been trying to make it up. but i'm through with playing these games.
i'm so f-ing sick of it
i seriously can't last much longer if all i ever do is work around her life and her feelings.
i understand she's confused, and she was going through some rough times. things are so confusing these days for everyone, and middle school relationships are the worst of all.
but i hate feeling like i don't feel this way. i don't want to lie anymore. not to her, and not to everyone else.
doesn't she realize i'm confused too? i've been trying to work it all out in my head without letting anything slip...
i mean... i find so many things wrong with him...so many reasons why not to...we're so different, he's not into the same things as me, i'm too prude for him (but, hey- what else is new?), i never feel like he appreciated me for what my real strengths are...and yet, there he is again, giving me that look...
and i just melt.
i walk past him in the halls, and my stomach drops. i have to catch my breath, i literally stop breathing for a moment.
there are just a few chances each school day to see him, to be with him.
not the case for her. she's got more time with him, she's got more in common with him, she fits in with him so much better than i do.
and i've tried...oh, i've tried. i've tried to say no, to listen to my friends, to give her what she really wants...
but you just can't beat that feeling.
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