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Tuesday, June 14, 2005


my new livejournal username is:


it's a thing mally and i had
its like my nivk-name i guess


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Monday, June 13, 2005


so...i think it's time for a new live journizzle...

i need a change foir the summa
donht worry, ill comment in all of your lj's so that u can rememebr its me with my new name
i dont reaslly know whats its gonna be yet

maybe somehting with my name becuz its easier to identify me that way

we'll see

later love!!

loves+kisses= summa changes

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Sunday, June 12, 2005



there are no words to explain the awesomeness of the dinner dance


i totally had the best time of my life

the best time in the whole efing world



it was kinda dum tho cuz ryan swann ditched me

and then lied\but whatev i cud care less

i got others to be hottt with...ahahaha


the bus ride home...

ahhhh efing amazing



lucky number 6!!!


let's just say i am not prude anymore

i can add several thigns to my un-prude list

i will not go into detail here, but u can just ask me if u wanna know more...


i know i certainly wanna know more about what happened on the other bus!

i heard thewy got pretty wild too!


alright...it is like WAYYYY past my b.time!

later love


loves+kisses= bus rides...



Current mood: incredible!

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Thursday, June 9, 2005


omg Windridge rocked the blockizzle for shizzle

i heart australo guys

and leo



arts+crafts with el, kat, julia, b, ab, mal and the gang

wicked sweet

bombarded joe with b-day cards (and rocks+sticks)

but i waited till they all gave him theirs

then i gave him mine later


it was probably the best thing i've ever done


swimming rocked

kinda cold but not bad

built an EXCELLENT sand castle with a tunnel that went all the way across the beach

it took like a million years and finally it was done

then we had to go

got in water and washed off


everyone stepped on tunnel

then logan cooke dragged his foot across the whole tunnel and killed it all

i was crying

white stepped on it and i threatened to beat him up

so he threw me over his sholder (he really did that)

i was kicking and screaming

it was fun


bus ride home was REALLY cool until ryan and nate ef-ed it up

you see, ryan put his hands down his pants (ew) then rubbed them on cody's face (double ew)

so cody of course spit in ryan's eye, and nate laughed at him

so, like the complete retard that ryan is, he spits in nate's eye and nate starts a riff

nate is punching ryan, which was really scary for me cuz i was right next to ryan

so then mrs. therrien (fat cow) came back and made ryan move up

and guess who she sat wiht?



i almost killed myself


other than that i had a jolly good time

OH EM efing GEE!

d.dance tomorrow!!!


i am so efing excited its not even funny!

seriously, if you laughed right now i wud kill you

so shwanny is my date

and i heart my dress more than life


life is good.


loves+kisses= a.brooks









Current mood: chipper

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Tuesday, June 7, 2005


godamn i'm so bored!

with life




boys suck

i hate them all

i can't wait for cbms kids to get here


get a fresh start with all our soon to b homies

can't efing wait

they've got some pretty hott guys over there

well, only a few

and some r taken

which is pretty much the same as here...


except our boys all suck.


actually, i can also NOT WAIT for the cbms girls to get here

and be awesomely excellent

and new

and cool.




alright...i'm gonna git because if i'm boring myself this much by just typing this update, then i can only imagine how bored you must be reading it



later love


loves+kisses= too bored to use cool colors



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Sunday, June 5, 2005


some get made, and some get played





shweet weekened!

hung out with Ktay to the C baiscally the whole time

went swimming in KT's pond: 3 times

played with boys across the street: 2 times

bug bites: about a billion

KT's b-suit top fell down: at least 6 times

spalshing it up and wrastlin' with my 3 fave ppl in moretown: priceless


ok, so that didnt really work becuz none of the things were prices, but it was still cool!

yea so i def. am in love with the boys across the street

KT and i went over there at like 9:20 ish and played 5,000, and star gazed, and star "tanned", and just plain wrastled until like 10:30

it was amzaingly fun and awesome and great and WONDERFUL!


then we went swimming with them the next day

that was wicked fun too

ahh, good times good times!


so, what did you do theis weekend? i'd be very pleased to know!

really...please tell me, i'm all ears...

now i shall sit and listen to your weekend...





conclusion: sweet.


ah man

omg the dinner dance is THIS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

holy shat!

man and i never got those fake french manicure nails i wanted


ah well...such is life


alright...until next time, just remember- KEEP IT CLEAN, KIDS! AND USE PROTECTION!!!


loves+kisses= swimming and wrastlin






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Thursday, June 2, 2005


man oh man

who wouldn've thought?

certainly not me!


man, if i had known that sitting with my new-found friends at lunch would cause this much complication, i never would have done it!

and yet, im still glad i did...

because i know that none of my friends will de-friednd me over something this stupid

in fact, i am confident that this will blow over by tomorrow

with most people anyways...


so, i'm sorry that i expressed my feelings in live journal that made it seem like it was a HUGE deal

becuz it wasn't

and it's really not my fault that my new-found friends dont like some of my other friends

and i dont think that i should get shunned becuz i sat with them at lunch

and if this causes any more complications in our freidnship, then i dont think she honestly loves me as much as i thot she did


and thats all i have to say about that!


on a lighter note...it was SO NICE today!

so sunny and warm...actually, it was wicked hot...but whatev

better than wicked cold, i say!


alright...time to get to gettin!

later love


loves+kisses= laughs








(Blow a bubble)

Wednesday, June 1, 2005


hey, can't you tell i want you by the way i push you away, yeah!

life is happy tonight

i'm smiling...:)


so, you know all those questions that i wanted answered today?

the ones about e.siner and cam?

the ones i just wrote in my entry from last ngiht?

well....i didnt get ANY of them answered!

BUT- it was because e.siner broke up w/ cam becuz it wasnt working out

so everything is settled


its too bad tho

cuz i mean, if she did really like him, then it sux that they cudnt work out

but it was kinda hard

he's in 7th grade, shes in 8th

plus everyone was making a huge deal about it (including me!...oops!)

well...i guess its all good

in da hood


so now we can move on to...dum dum dum...

my smiley factor!!!

I am sitting with becky and e.siner and el and all those people tomorrow at lunch!

i miss all those people so much, becuz we used to be excellent freidns last year

and then i just kinda drifted away

and made new friends

i.e. KTC, KTB, meg, abby, anna, liv, etc...


HOWEV- i think that i can handle both groups of friends at the same time!!!

so im all excited to have lunch tomorrow with my new palios!

there is one problem that may arise tho...

you see, SOME of the ppl in my one group of friends are not liked by the other group

and vise versa...kinda...

anywho, i must not let these few ppl mingle...

tho it will be difficult

but i will try



its funny that im making such a big deal about this

cuz its just a little luncheroo

ah well, im still all smiley inside

i love re-connecting with my old pals...

becuz they were my very good friends at one point

and we weren't so tight for nothin!


later love.

(which rhymes with gator love!)


loves+kisses= lunch dates



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Tuesday, May 31, 2005


man oh man

i'm so stressed tonight

i had SO MUCH math homework!!!

luckily i had Bill right there with me through it all to help me out

Sucks tho cuz i wanted to work on my science essay and reading essay tonight but i had too much else to do!!!
Is it just me, or are we getting the homework loaded on because it's the end of the year, and the teachers have to cram every last bit into the last few weeks?!!!!!



I danced in the rain today after lunch.

it was oodles of fun

i just had to let it all go

i decided not to be mean to Emily Siner about dating my one true love

(Yes, it's true, Emily Siner is currently dating Cameron Nevin!)

i decided just to let them be, and hope everything works out the best way possible

i was worried at first though, because i thot emily was just asking him out as a joke

but it turns out she is starting to like him

even thoiugh she doesnt know him

and never sees him

but HEY! whatever floats your boat, right?


i'm just trying to stay positive about it all, and not be hateful or mean to anyone.


though it's damn hard.

i must tell you, it was a shock and a half to find out that emily and cameron really were going out

at first i was so f-ing mad

because i thot she was joking

i thot she was just jokingly asking another guy out, which she's done many times before

and i was mad because it always seems like she goes after the guys that ME and MY FRIENDS are in love with! (i.e. cameron, josh, cody, etc...)

but i thought long and hard about it

and after becky's very insightful note, (which i thot was a bit harsh to me, but i didnt make any big deal about it)

and after emily saying that she really is starting to know and like cameron,

i put it all behind me.


but there is still a bit of a situation...

you see, emily totally is starting to like him, and from her point of view, they're definitely dating

but i asked cameron what the deal was, and he said that it was all a big joke

thats what i thot in the beginning too!

so i explained to him, i said "Cameron, emily thinks its totally real, and she is starting to actually like you, so u need to straighten this out!  if you ARE dating, that's great!  but if u dont think you are...you might want to tell emily that!"

PLUS- cameron told emily that there was someone else and that they wouldn't really work out!

but i heard that emily wants him to date her at least till friday!

that seems very fishy to me, but it could just be a rumor...

i'll have to look into it all........


meanwhile, i want to know:

-who this "someone else" is that cameron apparently likes, or

-if cameron just said there was someone else to stop dating emily, or

-if cameron really does like emily and she really likes him and they live happily ever after and/or,

-did emily really say that she wanted to date him at least until friday, and if so

-WHY does emily want to date cameron at least until friday? what's so special about friday?

-WHO let the dogs out?

-AND~ why does it seem like emily likes other guys when she supposedly lieks cameron so much?


and why do i care so much?


loves+kisses= confusion









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Monday, May 30, 2005


just saw Star Wars 3 Saturday

good movie

but dumb

i thot it was a let down!


but whatev

can't have everything, right?

so...i had a pretty good weekend...kinda boring in places, but good otherwise...

hung out with KTC a lot...shweet!

her shoes are very cute for her dinner dance dress!


i can't wait

it's in like two weeks!



i donno wat to do anymore

i feel like...ahhh so restless!

i neeeeed a big huge fun party or something!

something to spice things up a bit


hmmm...gimme gimme.........gimme gimme......gimme gimme......

something fun!


i also feel like i cant figure out any of my friends these days.

i cant tell if she's mad at her or not

or if she still likes him

and who the heck does she like?

and who the heck do i like?

(those are all different people by the way, but im not mentioning any names...not that its bad stuff...just...whatev!)


seriously tho


who do i like?

no one

i mean, who is there to like?

honestly, WHO?

i feel like those two only see me as boobs and a butt these days

they're so immature recently

and just really horny

its all they talk about

it's like "GOD shut the fuck up and have a real conversation with me!  You know, one where you're not staring at my breasts the whole time!"


anyways...well i have no f-ing clue how to do my math homework

honestly, Mrs. Therrien thinks she can teach us a whole concept- that we've never learned anything about- through a packet!

i just cant learn it that way

i dont get it

and wen i get confused there's no one to ask questions!

ah well...better go try to figure soemthing out about rations....or just get some cchip cookies!

and you know what?

if you're looking for my cookies, keep on looking cuz they're still in the jar!


loves+kisses= awesome!


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Thursday, May 26, 2005


so...life is good good...

i just went swimming at the bridges with my girl scout troop

i got TWO mini cupcakes!!!!!

you know the ones where the frosting on top is like bigger than the actual cupcake?

it rocked the heezy for sheezy...



i can't wait to go see Star Wars 3 this weekend with Katie C, my sister, and the pops...

it'll be the tops!



or as Mr. Moody would say, gold!

i love rugby in gym class.

it's so fun!

i'm not really that good at running with the ball, well...im okay at dodging and running...sometimes...

and im not really that good at grabbing the good people's flags...atcually, im okay at that too...sometimes...!

it all depends on what mood im in

if i feel like being lazy and not doing anything then i suck

but if i actually try and get into then im pretty good i guess...!

anywho, i just have a blast!


i knicked my knee today cuz i was trying so hard!

i fell onto my knees try to pick up the damn ball!

damn, emma wade's fklags are like the most difficult things to grab...

i wonder if she puts them on a special way...

becuz, i mean, some people's flags are really easy to grab, like holly's and mine..

even emily siner who is one the the top 5 best rugby players in my gum class, (of the girsl) her flags are easy to rip off...

but emma wade's, and olivia...theirs are so hard!

ah well, such is life!


hmmm...i'm thinkin it's time to go study for my dumb-head english vocab test...

well, i wouldn't call it studying...more like watching TV and looking at it...



loves+kisses= Star Wars 3




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Monday, May 23, 2005


well, life is still good...

except i'm sad for abby right now

her grampy died

man, none of my family members have ever died the closest i get is when my dog monty died that i had had my whole life

i was deeply sad


but i got over it

as everyone must


on a bit of a lighter note, i got a new bra today for my dinner dance dress!

you see, i had to get a starpless bra that wouldn't show it's lines through the dress

becuz my dress is really clingy, so EVERY line shows...



anywho...better get to my math HW and my 10 fricking pages of french in our softbooks!

damn busy works sucks major ass...


loves+kisses= bras rock!


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Sunday, May 22, 2005


yes! boston yesterday rick-rocked the heezy for sheezy!!!

indeed...actually it kinda sucked cuz i've been there like 5 times and the virtual volleyball didnt work...

i know, right? i mean the freaking virtual volleyball didnt work? wth!!!!!

and the imax sucked

who the hell wants to learn aboput migrating animals...

not me


right so anyways...going to the dinner dance with ryan swann!


hes such a cutie...but we're just going as friends!

right?  we are just going as friends...i think...


some people have told me that he likes me as more than a friend now

but i've heard like 2 other people he liked...so who knows

and who cares, really?

nothing's changed...we're still just friends!



so life is good!

its just...very good right now.

plain and simple

no worries...at all

honestly, i cannot think of one wory at the moment,

except that im afraid my hair will look like shit tomorrow

i ran out of straightening gel

and it only looks good wavy occasionally

but still, there's something to be said about just getting out of thwe shower and not doing a thing to your hair, and still feeling comfortable with it



now i must go make myself that mixed CD that i've been meaning to make for quite a while...



loves+kisses= life


p.s. TOTALLY forgot to tell you about the kickass roadies we met onb the highway our way to the BSM!!! ok so, there were these two guys in the front of this car, and a giurl in the back and we were waving at them and putting up signs like "i love you" and "marry me" and stuff...they were laughing a lot it was a hoot! then we had to merge lkanes and we lost them but THEn as fate would have it, we unmerged lanes and met up with them again we saw them at a stop, and they said "are you going to the march?" and we (sadly) said "no, we're going ot the BSM" then we parted ways and never saw them again but it was still amazingly cool

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005


ahhh man i am so sad

i love my cam cam more than anything

and he is sad

stupid retarted f-ing sevies who pick on him!!!!!!!!!!!!

im gonna kick thewir fucking asses

just because he has cool hott 8th grade freinds that love him

they're jealous of him becuz he hangs out w/ us! wat f-ing retards

i feel so bad for him


je taime!

i fucking love cameron

if he was in 8th grade i would fucking marry him!

i can't wait until later in highschool when its cool to date younger guys.

like brooke werner and hott everette



i heart life


loves+kisses= cameron





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Monday, May 16, 2005


gah bored....

with life.

you know when there is no play and no boy to chase and no new kid who's cool and no nothing...it gets boring


life is like a dull.....butter knife!. shweet.

ahaha theres a good joke..." your joke is like a dull pencil...it has no point!" ahahahahahahaha



man o man life is funny.  i heart sevies!

i miss the play so f-ing much!

i am sad from that loss......its so much harder to keep in talkings with my lovable sevies!

and also my lovers ah man.......no more cindi....ah i am so sad

no more princey poo. a different world that i can excape into....it didnt matter about the others

nothing mattered because we were acting. it was a play.  a real play woith costumes and makeup (overdone, i might add!) and long white gloves and ahh.....it was pretend.

i really had a prince charming to waltz with and i really had a ball and even tho abby was a meany poo (my evil stepmom) she was still there.....i really had a fairy godmother...it was just so...different.

ah well, you've got to snap back to reality sometime i suppose.......

but sometiems i wonder...is that this the true reality...or is it just a game?

is it all a fake until you slip away into a song or play or book or poem...and thats wen the real world comes out?


ahahha i am gettijg all phylosophical on you now.

thoughts spinning around inside make for cheesy glances at make-beleive!


loves+kisses= holler VT





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Wednesday, May 11, 2005



my head hurts so f-ing much right now!!!!!!!

i've been popping the pills! ahaha jk i cant do swallow pills...

but i DID have SIX (yeah thats right, SIX!!!) chewable pain relievers!!!!

yes! shweet... except it was funny cuz on the back of the bottle, it had a chart of how many u shud have for each age

and it only wen up to 11 years old

and that one was six pills

so i had 6 too even tho im 14!!!



gah life is poopy tonight! i'm just really stressed out about the play

and my head hurts

and my shin killed today

and it was SOOO f-ing hot out!

and i hated voice lessons today

usually they make me feel a lot better wen im having a sucky day cuz i love them and they're fun just working with me and my voice and andrea

but today was lame i felt like i sounded bad even tho i prolly didnt


and uuugggghhhhh i hate sports

and please i just wanna get this out so no one say the old "dont worry! ur good at other things!  u dont even know how good u are blah blah blah" no offense i just dont wanna hear that right now

im not an atheletic person and i know that

i know my strengths are in singing and acting

but it still really sux


i wanna be good at sports

i want to be a wicked fast runner, and a wicked high jumper, and i wanna kick that soccer ball into the goal so fast it'll make ur head spin

but i cant

hard as i try, i cant

i feel like there's always someone who's better than me

but it's not their fault that they're good at it and im not


like in gym clas the other day

i LOVED doing the high jump even tho it KILLED my left shin bcuz thats the foot i jump off of

i loved it so f-ing much it was soooooo f-ing fun

just ask anyone who was thewir

i was like rip-rearing to go!

and i was good, too!  not to toot my own horn...but, toot toot!

i mean, i got it evry single time without hitting the bar once
seriously, i did not hit the bar one single time

other people did, other people weren't as good as me in the beginning

others had to get used to it first

but not me i really took to it


anyways, i was doing great, and then i got to 3 feet 8 inches

i hadnt hit the bar once yet

so i run, and jump-

and i hit the bar!

but no worries, i have 3 chances to clear the bar so i can move up

so i jump again and miss

dont worry one mor leap, ill get it

i try to arch my back and REALLY push off hard on my left leg, even tho it hurts sooo f-ing much

and i miss

and i get back in line, and mr. moody says that i cant go again becuz i diodnt clear it in my 3 tries

i didnt realize thats wat u had to do


so i sit down

im so mad

katie did it just fine!  katie gets to move up!

and mallory did it too

they both get to go up

but not me

i get left behind while mallory beats the girls gym record for high jump, and katie's only about 4 inches behind

but im a whole foot behind

they beat me



but i mean, it's really not their fault at all that they're goor at it

its totally not their fault they have this great talent for sports, and they're just built to do it

its not their fault at all

and why shud they feel sorry for me wen they're so good?

why shud i bring them down wen they're so up?

i shund't

so i try not to

but then i end up holding this all inside

and i break down one night on stupid hard math homework that i dont understand yet again


loves+kisse....ah, you know the deal.....









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Monday, May 9, 2005


dude it's 10:18 p.m........WAYYYYYYY past my bedtime!!!

but i just couldn't resist updating!

not that i have much to update about...oh yeah! DUHHHH!!!!


i got contacts and new glasses!!!!  YAY!!!! i can finally see without looking like a retard!!!!!!  althouhg, my new glasses are cooler than my old ones...granted, they dont have little barbie hearts on the sides, but they're very sophisticated and sleek...ahahaha shweet.


alright...alright...ahaha i say that a lot now...mally u know what im talkin bout..

ummm well nothin much else except i love that texas motivational speaker guy more than nachos!

so one tree hill tomorrow
! dude nathan's DYING!!!! shashashahaha!  "What if......"


alright...time to beat the hay or something...or is it hit the sack to a pulp? something like that./....


loves+kisses= holler VT


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Wednesday, May 4, 2005


i don't know how to do this anymore

i'm going down!


seriously, gahhh!  whenever i move on, it's wrong.

i don't know how to handle it.

i don't know where to turn.


i mean, i know my friends are totally there for me always and shat...but...maybe its different...

like, i can't go to some of them because they don't like him at all, so they would be no help

and that's TOTALLY NOT NOT NOT they're fault!  i understand that...

and i can't go to  her because she is in the same boat as i am!!!

i mean, i love her to death, but her help would be totally influenced by her feelings

jsut like mine would if i tried to help her!

and then if i bring it up around her she gets all "ahh no one likes me" and i don't knwo what to do!  suddenly it becomes her problem,

OR she just goes on and on about her!


p.s.  all the different "her" s in diff. colors mean all different people. but when i use the same color "her" it's talking about the one from the other color.  for example- whenever  i use the purple "her" its one person, and the blue "her" is another person! shweet



loves+kisses= BLAH!









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Tuesday, May 3, 2005


Just a little test to better know people (which i stole fromk abby)

Please comment on this and tell me:

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One random thing.
4. One insider. (don't worry- i didn't know what an insider was either!  but whiska lickins let me in:  just  tell me something about yourself -but not too obvious or you'll give it away-.  i.e. i love singing and acting.)
5. One thought you (secretly) have of me.
6. One thing you'd like to do to me.
7. A hint to who you are.



anywho...don't forget to read my post from yesterday and comment if you haven't already.  i really need some helpful advice with it.

please and thank you!


loves+kisses= confusion


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Monday, May 2, 2005




i quit him

i quit trying

 i quit pretending

 i quit boys

i quit the whole damn species!


i hate feeling like i have to put my life on hold because i'm trying to be a better friend.  i screwed up once already, and i've been trying to make it up.  but i'm through with playing these games. 

i'm so f-ing sick of it

i seriously can't last much longer if all i ever do is work around her life and her feelings.

i understand she's confused, and she was going through some rough times.  things are so confusing these days for everyone, and middle school relationships are the worst of all.

but i hate feeling like i don't feel this way.  i don't want to lie anymore.  not to her, and not to everyone else.


doesn't she realize i'm confused too?  i've been trying to work it all out in my head without letting anything slip...

i mean... i find so many things wrong with him...so many reasons why not to...we're so different, he's not into the same things as me, i'm too prude for him (but, hey- what else is new?), i never feel like he appreciated me for what my real strengths are...and yet, there he is again, giving me that look...

and i just melt.


i walk past him in the halls, and my stomach drops.  i have to catch my breath, i literally stop breathing for a moment.

there are just a few chances each school day to see him, to be with him.

not the case for her.  she's got more time with him, she's got more in common with him, she fits in with him so much better than i do.

and i've tried...oh, i've tried.  i've tried to say no, to listen to my friends, to give her what she really wants...

but you just can't beat that feeling.


loves+kisses= confusion





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